Saturday, January 4, 2014

DAD





1922 to 2013

Simon Raygoza Escobedo, de la Mora, Jalisco

November 26th 2013.  2:20 p.m., the day and time he died.
I arrived at the Villa early morning on the day of his death.

Who was dad to me? He was the man who provided for my basic needs such as a home, clothes, and food. He also provided some comic relief and affection in his own way.

He was good person who lived his life in the best way he knew. I learned lots of good things from him like: spirituality, optimism, appreciation for simple things, and a solid work ethic.

He made a significant impact in many peoples lives. His life began and ended in his hometown of Villa Guerrero. Dad lost both of his parents by the young age of five. His mother died at his birth and his father died in the revolucion de Los cristianos. His early life involved horses, burros, ranchos, and plenty of hard work of farming and ranching. As a young man he was an entrepreneur, buying eggs, poultry, livestock, and other sundry essentials and selling these items throughout Villa Guerrero. He lived in a time when a man’s word was his worth and he was known as a man of his word.


During World War II when Americans sent their men to war and their women filled the jobs once occupied by men, my father responded to their call for Mexican labor. He worked on ranches in North Dakota and Nebraska. Once again, Dad exercised his entrepreneurial skills when the "No Mexicans" policy of local American business owners, created a demand for ready made food, he sharpened his cooking and barber shop skills, making and supplying tortillas, burritos, and offering hair cuts to his coworkers in the work camps on his day off.

Eventually dad moved all of the family to California and settled into a long-term job as a laborer for a construction company where he was took pride in his work and was paid enough to support our large family. As a child I knew the man who treated friends with great courtesy, kindness, and generosity. I knew him as a devout catholic, always attending church, praying a daily rosary and participating in many church prayer meetings and functions.


Throughout his lifetime he went above and beyond helping others in their time of need. Many loved and respected him with the affection generally held for ones own father. For some he provided critical support at a time when their own fathers could not or would not. Even in his last two years of life he managed to give his caregiver the acknowledgement and affection she never received from her own father.

My father had a quick wit and was never at a loss for words. He used humor to complement and to evade. He was forever the optimist and in his old age freely expressed his emotions.


I appreciate all that he did for me and our family. He worked hard for us, tried to teach us tough life lessons, and along the way managed to teach us many valuable things.

Simon Raygoza Escobedo lived a full life.  He spent much for his final years praying and singing. There is a Native American saying which asks "Is today a good day to die." Meaning: are you living your life wholeheartedly, fully and without regret? Dad would have said yes! Even as a forty/fifty something he always said "when it's my time God will take me and not a minute before." He would not fear the risk of things like flying or illness, completely confident in his devotion and belief in Gods ultimate wisdom. As we gathered around his bed at home in the Villa he took his final breaths, surrounded by his family praying, touching, appreciating, grieving and loving him in his final moments of life. He made a significant impact on many people, especially on his children.



I love you my father, Thank you for everything. I know it all worked out exactly as it was meant to be.

















Thursday, November 15, 2012

Mexico


Here is the blog I wrote a few weeks after returning from Mexico in August but just never finished correcting and posting. Considering the theme that evolved in this short essay, it seems appropriate to post it just before the Thanksgiving holiday.



Mexico
When I write the word Mexico a James Taylor song plays in my head:

Oh, Mexico
It sounds so simple I just got to go
The sun's so hot I forgot to go home
Guess I'll have to go now…

When I think of Mexico I don’t think of the country or the Villa. Mexico for me means family. Family is synonymous with Unconditional Love, Loyalty, and Friendship. My view of family is that family is and always will be there for me and I am always here for them. I can go through my stuff and not participate in family events when I’m not up to it but I know that when I am ready I will join in and we pick up like there was never any interruption. There are some family members that at times I have spoken with everyday, like some of my sisters, as we shared our early parenting days. There are other family members that I speak with mostly on special occasions or with the occasional phone call to catch up, usually this happens with my brothers, who mean just as much to me. There are all the fabulous nephews and nieces that I see at special events. Regardless of the frequency of our encounters, my family always welcomes me as if we just hung out together yesterday.

It’s no secret that every family has it’s own set of complications and with a family the size of mine (11 siblings!) there is always some sort of drama playing out somewhere. We love each other fiercely and we will meddle! With some maturity comes knowing the difference between well meaning meddling and judging. All my siblings have the best intentions but sometimes we judge each other, hurting each other, but so far we have been able to overcome these errors and enjoy each other again, because you don’t just write-off family. At times family can be the best thing ever! Then other times, it’s complicated. There is quite a bit I can say on this subject, but, I think what I really want to say is that with complications and all, I am very grateful for my family.

I am grateful for: my sister Cuca who always seems to laugh; my sister Lipa who always remembers my birthday; my late sister Mila who seemed to thoroughly enjoy whatever stage of life she was in, like the many stages of motherhood; then there’s Ben, my oldest brother, he is always ready to celebrate anything; Raul who is famous for his ability to come up with a saying for everything; my brother Jaime who I will always see as my sweet younger brother; Irene who is loving and supportive in a hands on kind of way; Teresa who is always generous and encouraging; Liz who was my lifesaver when I became a working mom and I knew she was near if my kids needed anything; and finally Mary, the baby, who is incredibly courageous and independent. Dad worked so hard to keep a roof over our head, successfully! Mom continues to model generosity, kindness, and compassion. I am grateful to have this family.
 
Oh, Mexico
It sounds so simple I just got to go
The sun's so hot I forgot to go home
Guess I'll have to go now…







Friday, August 3, 2012

Final thoughts on Europe


Final Thoughts on Europe and Travel

As I reflect on the last month spent traveling, I am aware of how simple it is to be in the moment when everyday routines and responsibilities are left behind. I love what I do in my everyday life but notice that I am thinking about what is next, what I must do tomorrow, who I need to call or email, etc. I am a big believer in living consciously yet despite my best efforts I am not in the moment all the time.

While getting to know my travel group I was asked “what would you say has been your biggest adventure?” My response, without hesitation, was “My marriage and family.” My trip to Europe was a great little adventure but I think the greatest adventure is taking place in my everyday life and relationships. Some of my most significant life-long relationships are with my sisters.

I’m glad I got to share this European experience with one of my sisters.  Irene is a great travel partner. She is always ready to join in, like when she went for a midnight swim with all her clothes on in Cinque Terre because everyone else did it. Sometimes we compliment each other perfectly. For example, she does not like the sugary crust on crème brulee and I do. Other times we are opposites. She is always too warm or hot. I often feel cold. Sharing a hotel room for three weeks meant that when I felt like I had slept in a refrigerator she was perfectly comfortable and vice versa. I suppose it would be good for us to keep perfecting our traveling partnership. Wink wink!

My favorites things about Europe: Best food, best pastries, best prices, best people , Italy, Italy, Italy! I knew I would love Italy. Switzerland is the most expensive. Germany is the cleanest. Art and architecture is beautiful throughout the countries I visited. I learned a lot about each country and their people. I am inspired to explore art in our country. I learned I truly enjoy group travel. I would love to return to Italy and France and to explore other countries like England, Spain, and Greece. However, my summer travels have not ended.  I am packing my suitcase once again. It’s time for Mexico. I will be visiting my parents in the “Villa.” Dad is 90 years old and Mom will turn 82 on August 7th. I am traveling with three of my sisters and my son Ben too. We will be in Mexico for Mom’s birthday.

I will blog about Mexico in the next couple of weeks. I am also considering starting a blog about my experience as a forty-something year-old (barely) college student. For those of you who don’t know, I’ve decided to go into mental health counseling. I returned to school over a year ago and will attend University of Washington this fall. Another blogging idea is to start a blog about self-care, as one of my sisters suggested. I have worked in the natural healthcare field for the past fifteen years and I am a voracious reader on this subject. This is one of my passions. I am a proponent of “Healthy Selfishness.” I have always believed that only by taking care of ourselves (first) can we have anything to offer anyone. These are my thoughts for now. I have enjoyed writing this blog and I appreciate your kind comments and words of encouragement. 






Monday, July 16, 2012

Paris







Paris surprised me. It really is a beautiful city. The people? There is definitely a clash of cultures between Americans and Parisians. An American living in Paris told me that they really do like Americans and that it's the English they don't like. My experience was 50/50.  I feel so privilaged to have seen and experienced some of the treasures of this city. The Louvre and Notre Dame are exceptional. Fireworks at the Eiffel tower on Bastille day were so much fun set to a great mostly disco soundtrack.

My European adventures has come to an end. It was a blast!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Swiss Alps












The change from the Mediterrainian to the Swiss Alps couldn’t be more dramatic. We make our way up narrow winding roads with incredible views of the alps. I even see a bit of a glacier. Switzerland is cheese country, the government here subsidizes small farmers so they can keep producing their special cheeses. As we make our way through the alps there are cows grazing here and there. People love their cows here and they even name them. Our hotel sits in the little town of Stechelberg in the Lauterbrunnen Valley. The woman who runs the hotel talks a lot. I can’t understand a word she says and I reply in English and somehow most everything is understood. She does this with everyone and it is entertaining to watch these exchanges. I stand in front of my hotel and in every direction I turn the view is breathtaking. This is one of “the” places that base jumpers come for their “earth” jump. Some people in our group sign up for para gliding. I pass on all of the possible jumping options.

    Instead, I take a gondola to the top of Schilthorn peak, it is just under 10,000 feet and the temperature drops significantly. Later, I lunch at the cafe where you can order food, coffee, beer, para gliding, bungy jumping or heli sky diving, I settle on tomatoe soup and tea. Then a few of us take the long walk (two hours) back to the hotel, there are waterfalls scattered along the way, and cows, and amazing views of course. The mountains and fresh air offer a different kind of paradise. This is a good place for long walks, hikes, and just sitting around talking.  Next stop France!
   
   

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Mediterrainian Paradise


    Cinque Terre is the small Italian coastal village of my Italian dream. Cinque Terre (five small villages) sits in a remote part of the Italian Riviera. I have a painting I bought years ago that could be one of the five small villages of this Mediterrainian paradise. I looked at it everyday and if someone asked about it I always said that it was the small sea side village in Italy that I would visit someday. Someday came and it is everything I imagined. The energy here is quiet and the most relaxed in Italy. The Mediterrainian water displays an incredible spectrum of blue (my favorite color.) The best thing to do here is to take in the sun, food, and friends.

    My first night starts off with a bang as the group is treated to a seafood lovers feast. I eat mostly vegetarian so I eat my pasta with pesto (one specialty of this region) as I watch the group and laugh as they struggle with crab legs, lobster tail, octopus arms and much more! By now I have bonded with all my travel buddies. We all look out for each other. We branch off with different buddies at every activity depending on our mood. The next day I opt for a boat ride to get a view of the Cinque Terre from the water. It is all beautiful. My view at lunch could not be more perfect. It is warm, sunny, the food is great, and I am in the company of my sister and Patricia a well traveled joyful travel buddy from Anacortes Washington. As we stroll in Monterroso we stumble upon a wonderful little shop and I like everything in it. I splurge on a few gems for myself, literally! I score on a fabulous lapize necklace, a lovely amythist ring and a gorgeous blue topaz pendant. I am happy.

We follow up our day with a group happy hour on the beach, a swim, and opera! I get a taste of opera as I sit outdoors in this perfect Italian village listening to a British opera group that performs this evening, and I discover I am a fan. I walk back to my hotel as the evening cools and shops and gelato vendors have reopened for the night. Tomorrow I say goodbye to Cinque Terre. I am not ready.







Sunday, July 8, 2012

Rome

Rome
Rome is a city of stairs. I have climbed so many stairs; the city is one big stairmaster. I am walking so much too, yet, my pants are getting tighter! Probably because of all the pasta and gelato I eat at every turn! Incidentally I did have San Crispino gelato, the gelato place mentioned in Eat, Pray, Love (and the New York Times) and it is hands down the very best!

Rome is big, busy, chaotic, and vibrant. There is so much energy and the whole city seems to be in motion. The Colosseum comes alive for me because our local guide, Francessca, brings it to life with her presentation. She helps me imagine what it might have been like by asking that I feel what each area feels like with the knowledge of the history and psychology of that time. I am a feeler, this is how I connect to the world, her approach is perfect for me.

The Vatican is over the top opulent, as expected. After seeing the Sistine chapel and St. Peters Basilica, we take a taxi back to our hotel because today there is a transportation strike. Their strike is very well organized and supported by the people. During a strike they only run trains and buses for the morning and evening commute. So in the middle of the day walking or a taxi is the only way. Like everyday we have walked quite a bit and now a ride sounds just great. The taxi ride is a small adventure in itself. The rules of the road here are merely suggestions. Lanes, lights, cross walks...all optional. Basically the one with the largest vehicle rules.The taxi driver serves as  an unofficial guide. I sit in the front and enjoy his narrative of life in Rome, as he artfully and narrowly misses hitting pedestrians and avoids collisions with scooters, motorcycles, cars, and buses. His English is sprinkled with Italian and he has the wonderful thick Italian accent that is so fun to listen to. 

By this point in our trip most of our group is tired. We have kept up a good pace for the past couple of weeks. But we are in Rome, so some people keep going, attempting to see all they can and return looking completely wiped out. Some of us give in and take a few hours to rest, nap, and sit on the terrace and drink wine. I’m in the latter group.

I saw what I came here to see and even though there is so much more I accept that I will not see it this time. I relax and stroll in the evening. We join friends for a late night dinner and it is so pleasing. We are the last to leave the restaurant. We are actually the ones waiting on the server to bring our check. They have absolutely no desire to rush us or themselves. They are the most relaxed people regarding time and  the art of doing nothing  ("il dolce far niente") is highly encouraged. When we think we are ready to go, the waiter encourages something more but we all say no grazie. He then mentions lemoncello and insists we have one “on the house” because we “must enjoy.” So I end the evening with my first lemoncello. Others in our group have tried lemoncello’s in each region of Italy. We are now on our way to Cinque Terre and they apparently have the best lemoncello.  Hmm, I will have to do the taste test to confirm.